Wedding in Danang, Vietnam

A wedding was the occasion of my third trip to Vietnam. My first trip was to Hanoi and the north, and second was to Saigon. Both times I met with some unpleasant encounters. But time, distance, and reassurance from friends who said they would watch out for me prepared me to go back again. This time was to the city of Danang in the central region.

October is rainy season, so it poured torrential rains to the point of major flooding. Our outings were somewhat limited, and two days of running around in half a foot of water gave me a nasty cold - which I passed on to my travel buddy, JLoh. We did get to visit the beach (above), with a white Quan Yin statue on the mountain. Mostly we hung out at coffee shops and ate scrumptious local dishes at fun restaurants. One place we got to enjoy great food was in the quaint town of Hoi Anh, where we ate at one of the oldest establishments in town. The cao lau noodles are particular to this area and the water has to be drawn from a special blessed well. Parts of Hoi Anh still maintains narrow, cobble stone streets where cars cannot threat, so as you can see in this picture, it was quite an adventure to get around in the rain!

As for the wedding....
Let me say that my observations are colored not only from me being an outsider, but as someone more than a little suspicious of the capitalist love story that is the wedding industry and the kind of gender cliches much of it plays into. But you can take what I say in a light, fun-loving manner, and in all honesty, I thoroughly enjoyed myself and am very happy to have joined and contributed to this celebration. But enough by way of prologue.

The wedding unfolded in three main events: an intimate morning blessing with breakfast and coffee, a larger church service mid-morning, and finally a huge reception over lunch. The groom is from a big Christian family, and the first part of the celebration was held at the girls orphanage his family runs.

About the reception - wow. The reception was held in one of the many huge event halls that line the riverfront. We were in a place called "Golden Palace," but I secretly hoped it would be at the "4U Palace" next door, just to say I went to a place with that name. There were at least three other wedding receptions occurring in the other halls, and several more evening weddings the same day. I'm still trying to figure out how so many people in Vietnam are getting married; if tying the knot is in decline in Europe and North America, it is as robust as ever in Vietnam! With all the weddings going on at the same time, it's easy to imagine that people might sometimes walk into the wrong hall, and worse, put their monetary gifts in the wrong basket. A misfortune, I'm told, is not uncommon! We knew it was our friends' wedding because there were huge photos of the couple at the entrance. JLoh and I got a kick out of these because some were the most hilariously contrived poses we'd ever seen. I'm not talking about the typical western white wedding dress-tux photo, or the Thai bride in Vietnamese garb. I'm talking about the bride serenading her man with a violin (knowing, for certain, it was the first time she'd ever touched that instrument!), or the groom riding a bicycle on the beach while the passenger bride held a bouquet to the sky as the flowers flowed in the wind. After perusing the photos, we made our way to the huge and nicely decorated hall for the 650 attendees.

To give a better feel for the events at this colorful reception, I will retell things as they happened. We immediately sit down to start our seven course lunch. Everything is absolutely delicious, and I tried everything, everything! Except for the cow-tongue. People are eating and talking when the MC comes up and begins announcing something in a very official, excited tone - of course I have no idea what he was saying, everything is in Vietnamese, and I'm one of exactly two non-Asians there.

Suddenly, a thunderous blast comes out from the speaker, there is smoke everywhere with flashing red lights, they play the opening music of Carmina Burana, and a mechanical catwalk comes out of the stage. Oh, the anticipation! Is this the bride and groom coming?! Not yet ... A young man and women make their way up the steps singing a love song. On the stage, three women and a man ballet-dance to the duet (below).

A little while later, after pyrotechnic and confetti explosions fly all over the stage, the bride and groom enter the hall. Their parents join on stage as well for greetings and thank you's. I shouldn't forget to mention the cake boys who usher in the five pieces of wedding cake, and stand guard as the newlyweds light candles and make the first cut. After the party leave the stage there are some minutes of eating and talking as the newlywed go around from one table to the next greetings guests. Then, in unison, people suddenly stand up to leave, and the father of the groom quickly takes the microphone to say a short goodbye, as people file out. The place was near empty in five minutes, except for our table, with JLoh and I still holding our chop sticks, confused about what to do next, and really, waiting for a piece of wedding cake. We came to discover that the cakes were fake. Disappointment! After a mini photo-shoot on the stage, we get ready to head back to our hotel and are quite surprised to hear the newlyweds announce: "be ready, we're coming to pick you up in about 2 hours, we're all going out." Their priority was taking care of their families and friends that came to the wedding, and they didn't even sleep in the same house until they left Danang three days after their wedding.

On our way back to Thailand we stopped in Ho Chi Minh City. It was a pleasant visit, and I owe that entirely to friends and former students, who accommodated us in the most hospitable and gracious way possible. It was so good to see many of them. Some are involved in all kinds of exciting projects and ministries like media, theological training schools, and working with Vietnamese migrant workers newly returned from labor exploitation in Malaysia. Outside of the safety of the city, some Christian groups struggle much more to launch ministries. In the central region of Vietnam, where "house churches" are not officially recognized by the government, Christians are periodically persecuted and oppressed. One of the bridesmaids had to leave right after the wedding to deal with the recent wave of harassment of Christian teenagers from her church. While we were discussing this, I was so touched by her perseverance, optimism, and faith that God would open the way. "Despite all of this, I feel so much joy." How remarkably inspiring! Many thanks to all the Vietnamese who made the trip for us.